'I'm not going to cry', I tell myself as I put the car in gear, deep sobs heaving in my chest.
I pull away and the tears spill over, giant plops of wetness landing on my lap.
Like soup sloshed along the inside rim of a bowl.
The tears last for about 10 minutes, and then, just as the napkin I've managed to claw out of the dash is soaked through,
The next weekend it happens again.
Less tears this time but still.
Aching in my chest. Painful. Heavy.
We came to a fork in the road.
We made a decision.
Each weekend, I leave my husband, my pets, my home, my family, my friends, my life.
I leave everything I know behind.
Soon I'll be here for good.
Don't be too sad for me though.
I'm still in my home province, living in a gorgeous small town, surrounded by the kindness of strangers.
Sean's coming and so are Maverick and Pearl.
6 more weeks, 5 more weeks, 4 more weeks.
Soon, we'll have a new home, smaller, cozier than our house in Hubley.
I have a new job. It's big - bigger than I imagined.
There's a tiny kitchen in the house I'm temporarily living in.
I'm making do with what I can get at the Co-op.
Mushrooms, stock, cream.
Foods of comfort, combined to remind me of home.
Wherever that is.
Homemade Mushroom Soup
1 Tbsp butter
1 small-medium onion, chopped
20 oz fresh mushrooms, sliced or chopped (about 20-25 large button mushrooms)
1 C red or white wine
6 C chicken stock
1 C cream
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper, ground
- Melt butter in a large pot over medium-high heat - add chopped onion and sauté until translucent, about 2 minutes
- Add mushrooms to pot and cook 20-22 minutes until most water has evaporated (water will begin to leach out of mushrooms after about 5 minutes of cooking - by 8-10 minutes, there will be quite a lot of liquid - by 15 minutes you'll notice the liquid beginning to evaporate - continue to cook 20-22 minutes until almost all water is gone)
- Add wine to cooked mushrooms - bring to a light simmer then cook 3-4 minutes
- Add chicken stock and cream to pot - bring to a light simmer then cook 15 minutes
- Season with salt and pepper to taste
I received a number of emails and private Facebook messages after this post went live asking me if I was ok. Last summer I took an amazing 3 week workshop with Cincinnati photographer : stylist Gina Weathersby and it really inspired me to write more about things that matter to me, things with feeling. I've always been a stronger writer than speaker and love to write about strong emotion. Please know that I'm totally fine and this post was based on the first day I left for Cape Breton - I used my feelings from that day as muse. I promise - I'm ok :)